A lot of people keep sending me questions like these: “How to win your ex back after being dumped?”; “How to win your ex back after a bad breakup?”; “How to win your ex back after cheating?”, and similar, where they seek my advice.
I did a small survey of around 1000+ people on the social media giant Facebook and found that around 75% of people who took part in the survey would like to get back with their ex-boyfriend/girl-friend or ex-husband/wife again.
Also, according to an article in Psychology Today, about 62% people want to get back together with their ex-partners. You want to see whether it would work to get together with your ex-partner again, if you miss the good days you had with him or her.
However, before you start thinking about how to get their attention, you might first want to consider a few things.
Do You Really Miss Him/Her?
Maybe all you need is the good friend you found in them, a good listener and a good talker. Or maybe you miss them, their voice, the late-night talks, the comfort you had with them, the comfort of knowing you could depend on them. If you feel all those things, then you miss them.
Reason For The Breakup
Before going any further, determine the reason behind the breakup. Was it because your relationship was unhealthy? Were you both constantly fighting? Was he or she too possessive of you?
Did you feel unsafe with them? Or was it because of a misunderstanding or a minor argument? Was it caused by cheating, a bad breakup, or you were just simply dumped by your partner?
When you know the reason behind the breakup, decide if you are ready to accept your ex-partner with their issues.
Why Did You Two Fall In Love?
After determining the reason behind the breakup, try to remember what you loved most about them and what they loved the most about you. By now, you are in the first stage of rekindling your relationship with your ex-partner.
Is He Still Single?
Before going any further, find out if he is single and not dating somebody. If he is single, then continue.
This Is How You Attract Your Ex-partner
You can use many strategies to win back your ex. To attract them, all you have to do is recollect why they fell in love with you in the first place, and then, remind them of what they are missing in their life by not being with you. We will go step by step to make everything easy to understand.
1. Start a conversation with them
It could be messaging as well. If he quickly replies back in one or two words, then you can start an interesting chat. For instance, if you ask, “Hi, how are you?” and he replies back, “Dandy, what about you?” ask him something interesting like what they are doing right now. We are humans and we like to talk about yourself.
The added advantage of conversation with an ex is that you already know what they like to talk about so begin from there. Ask them how life is and never reply in one word, like Haha, Lol, Yeah, Okay, etc., because those words will just annoy him.
2. A friendly dinner
As we discussed before, you already know what he likes about you so use it to your advantage. Ask him for a friendly dinner and if he says yes, take him to a local restaurant or café for lunch or dinner. Do not dress or make it seem like you want to get back together with him. Test the waters before rekindling the flame again.
3. Light flirting
If he is flirting, then do not hesitate to flirt back. You should not act like a friend but like an ex-partner. Be flirty, use a pick-up line now and then just to make them smile and see if they are just as interested as you are in getting back together.
Guys are pretty straightforward, so you will know on that first “friendly date” if they actually want to be with you again. As for women, they are not straightforward. They keep their feelings hidden, and act deferentially, which makes it hard to know their true feelings.
I once read a great phrase: “Getting back with your ex is like putting your dirty pants back on after having a shower.” While this may not be true for all of us, it is definitely something to consider!
He is your ex for a reason. Whether you grew apart; he was abusive; you stopped sharing interests; stopped talking – there is always a reason why people decide to not be together any more.
And actually, this is fine. Sometimes, not every relationship has a happy ending. Disney has a lot to answer for! Maybe you’re actually better off without him? If it feels like a massive mistake, and you BOTH feel this way, then there is definitely a starting point for conversation.
If what you miss is the comfort and the habits of the relationship, then you are not doing either of you any favors by just slipping back into it. As hard as it is, maybe it is time for that particular chapter in your life to close?
It is worth having a think about couple’s therapy if you are not communicating well. But if it is just you that wants to get back together and he is running happily off into the sunset, it may be time to strap on your Big Girl Pants and move on.