There’s no doubt that long distance relationships can be hard work. There’s the sadness of not spending all your time together, plus the adjustment period when you have to get back to your “normal” life. If you are in one, you may be wondering how to turn a long distance relationship into a marriage – and you certainly aren’t alone in this.
Ways That Can Turn Your Long Distance Relationship Into More
Let’s have a look at a few ways that you can turn your long distance relationship into one that goes the distance…
Communicate, communicate, communicate
I know we go on about this, but communication really is the key to making any relationship work – this goes for long distance ones too.
With all the technology at our fingertips, there really is no excuse for not talking to your partner, even if they are miles away.
Discuss your feelings, worries, successes and joys, and encourage your partner to do the same. This will stand you in good stead for the time when you are finally together.
Don’t worry, not every conversation has to be huge – you can also gossip about your colleagues, talk about the weather and ask what they are having for dinner too!
Any communication is good communication, as long as you are honest, open and aware of your partner. And don’t forget, you have to listen too!
Be “present”
As above, we have infinite opportunities to communicate with each other. We can be “with” someone even if they are on the other side of the world!
Make sure you check in with your partner, maybe at times of day when people generally spend time together – after work, or at bedtime.
Even if you are not physically with the person, if you want your long distance relationship to turn into a more physically close one then you will need to put in the effort.
Being close to them, at the end of a phone line or at the end of an email, is a step towards being together physically.
Support each other
Just because you can’t see your partner enjoying their hobbies, doesn’t mean you can’t support them!
It’s worth taking a little time to look into their interests if they are unfamiliar to you, so that you can talk to your partner about them and become more involved.
You also have the right to expect your long distance lover to be interested in aspects of your life that they are unfamiliar with – sharing is caring, remember?
Even if you do not share the exact same hobbies, you can still show an interest. It doesn’t necessarily mean you have to take part in them!
Spend time together
Although it may be difficult to spend time together physically, due to travel restrictions or financial issues, you can still do so.
Even if it is very infrequent, you should make the time to see your partner in person as often as you can, to prepare for the time when you are living together.
Making this sort of commitment will likely help persuade your partner that you are serious about the relationship, and you may be tripping down the aisle sooner than you thought!
Even if they are not sitting next to you on the sofa, this doesn’t mean you can’t watch a movie together. Set up a live stream, and you can enjoy the latest blockbuster “together.”
Chat on webcams, so you can see their face. Set up a video call and take them on a walk around your neighborhood. Introduce them to friends and family.
Talk in person and at a distance
It may be tempting, when you do have time together, to shelve any issues that you may have and just enjoy the time together.
Although this may be pleasant, it is not a good strategy! For a relationship to turn into a marriage, you and your partner need to know each other, warts and all.
Don’t be afraid to talk to them about your issues when you are physically together, just as much as you do when you talk at a distance.
This will not scare your partner off, if they are “The One” – in fact, talking will develop a closer bond and ensure a stronger relationship.
Focus on the positives
Ok, it IS hard when the love of your life is not actually living with you yet. However, there may be upsides! Focussing on these will help you feel brighter and more positive.
Make a list of things you can do by yourself, possibly including things like:
- Spend more time with friends
- Indulge in your hobbies
- Have long lie ins
- Focus on your studies
- Plan your life together
Making the most of the time you have apart from your beloved can help you feel more positive about the time that you spend apart, and help you prepare for the time when you are together.
Create a long term plan
If you plan to marry, discuss it with your partner. You can still plan a wedding even if you are on other sides of the world!
Planning for your future is a great way to ensure that your relationship, when it reaches the marriage stages, is as strong and stable as it can be.
Also, if you are planning on turning your long distance relationship into a marriage then it is actually a great opportunity to set all your ducks in line so that your life together will be as smooth as possible when it finally happens.
You might actually be in a better position than people who already live together, as you will have the time and freedom to plan things at a leisurely pace.
Final Words
Long distance relationships happen for a variety of reasons; financial problems, housing issues, differences in family, couples who met on holiday… The list goes on!
No matter what the reasons, if you have a strong relationship and you want to be together, there is no reason why you can’t turn a long distance relationship into a marriage.
Deogratius Mambi
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