If you have never used a dating site in your life, you will certainly not be expecting to see spam email from one in your inbox. So why am I getting spam emails from dating sites? How did they find your details? What to do about it? Is it a sign from life that there is more out there for you?!
What can be even worse is to suddenly discover that your husband has been receiving spam email from dating sites. Of course, your mind will instantly run to thoughts of “he must be cheating!” but before you reach for the phone to call your divorce lawyer, have a read of a few of the reasons why you or your husband might be getting emails from dating websites.
7 Reasons Why You Or Your Husband Might Be Getting Spam Emails
1. Previous browsing history
There is no harm in using one of the most popular platforms for meeting new people. Countless thousands of us find love (or at least try to!) on dating websites every day, and you may have been curious about them in the past, and even signed up to one or two of them, even if you didn’t take it any further.
If you did end up with an online dating profile, met your now husband, deleted the account and thought nothing more of it then good for you, you are one of the lucky ones! But this could also explain where your problem is coming from.
2. Work out the source
Find out where the emails are coming from, and, if you have accidentally subscribed to their emails then all you need to do is click the unsubscribe link. You may have signed up to a dating site years ago and forgotten all about it, and many of the sites have a small section in their T&Cs that say you agree to marketing emails from other companies.
Very often, we sign up for things and click the “I Agree” button without really being aware of what we are agreeing to! Always take time to read the small print, and check for any small boxes that you can tick that say you don’t want this sort of notification. If you or your husband are getting spam from an old dating site that you have used in the past then spam emails may be easily explained.
However, if you are getting spam from a site that you have never heard of, then things might be a little harder to fathom out. But remember that there is usually a simple explanation, and your husband is very probably not doing the dirty!
3. Your email address was sold
Your email address could have been passed on to a different dating site as information can be sold between companies – this is not actually illegal, unless the information was obtained through phishing, as the addresses are often available publicly anyway.
There is not much you can do once this has actually happened, but you can report the spam emails and get them to stop arriving in your inbox. And then you and your partner can breathe a sigh of relief at this innocent explanation!
4. Affiliate companies
It is possible that your email address was shared by one company to an affiliate company. Some companies that you sign up for reserve the right to share your email address and information with affiliate companies, who are then allowed to email you by law. Although this is irritating, it is also legal and there is nothing that you can do about it.
5. Data leak
This can be caused by hackers, who target companies who hold large amounts of email addresses. There is nothing you can do to avoid this, sadly; even the companies who are trying to keep your information safe have no control over this.
If this has been the case then you will be informed of the data leak so at least you will know where your problem is coming from. If you have not heard that your information has been lost, however, then it is not caused by a data leak, as the FTC mandates that all affected individuals must be informed.
6. Other computer users
If you share your computer with others, for example family members or friends, it may be that one of them has set up a dating profile, and you or your husband have started receiving emails despite deleting any previous dating website activity.
7. Actual cheating
It is the hardest thing to hear, but receiving emails from dating sites can actually be a sign that all is not well in the marital nest. If you suspect that this is the case, it is imperative that you sit down and discuss the situation, in a calm and rational manner. Don’t instantly run through his wardrobe with a pair of scissors!
Prevent Future Spam
You can stop unwanted, unsolicited email from even arriving in your inbox.
- You could try an ad blocker, or a specific website or app that is designed to protect you against unwanted emails. There are plenty of online instructions, and various companies to choose from, which can help you do this.
- You can mark them as Spam in your inbox, or report the emails.
- Some email accounts will allow you to filter your emails, so you can prevent spam arriving in your inbox in the first place.
- Don’t use the “unsubscribe” button that you might find on an email that is definitely spam. This lets the spammer know that they have reached a live email account, and you will likely find that the emails increase.
- Try clearing your caches, and deleting your entire browsing history. This may help marginally, as long as you don’t restart your search for online dating websites!
Receiving unsolicited emails from dating websites to your inbox – or worse, your husband’s – can be irritating at best, and marriage breaking at worst. Take the time to talk things through, and work out where the emails are coming from and how to stop them, and you should be back on track again.
Also, read my guide about texting a guy you just started dating if you need more dating advice.