I assume you get to my website because you’re asking yourself: “What am I doing wrong in my relationship?” You’re in the right place then. When you enter a relationship, you may often think that you are doing everything that you can to secure and make your partner feel happy.
This is good because you love that person and you are willing to make actions that will make him satisfied with your relationship. Seeing your partner happy makes you happy as well because this person is important to you. However, there are times when things just don’t go the way you imagined it and your relationship becomes rough.
In this article, I will discuss the most common mistakes that people do when they are in a relationship. Read on to learn more.
What You'll Learn Today
What Are You Doing Wrong?
People are not perfect, we make mistakes. Sometimes we don’t notice it until after something happens and we look back on how they happened. If your relationship may be feeling a bit cold, or you would like to avoid this from happening, here are some tips that you should take note of:
1. Sex is just sex
When you and your partner are already committed to each other, having sex should be something that you crave for in each other. You should be throwing yourselves at each other because you have feelings for each other and one way of expressing it is through physical intimacy.
You may notice that things are slowing down in your relationship when both of you rarely get in the mood anymore. This is especially true for couples who have acquired bigger responsibilities and become busier with their work.
When this happens, you should communicate with your partner or try to spruce things up a bit to get your partner in the mood. You should never wait for sex to just happen when both of you have a lot of things in your minds.
2. Craving for commitment too soon
If you and your partner have become official or you have been dating someone for a while, you should not immediately jump off and ask him to become committed to you. You should take things as they happen and don’t rush them.
Let them develop on their own while enjoying every moment that you have together. Focusing too much on whether you will get married or whether you will break up or not can be too stressful for you and scary for him as well.
3. Being too clingy
You love the person and you want to be with him all the time—what’s wrong with that? Possibly a lot. While you crave for each other’s company, you should remember to leave some time for yourselves.
Constantly asking him where he is, who he’s with, what he is doing, can be too constricting for him especially if you two have only started going out. Understand that both of you have separate lives before you got together so you should not ask for all of his time for yourself.
Let him have fun on his own and he will thank you for it.
4. Relationship is a two way thing
When a relationship ends, it can be very tempting to go out of your way to make your ex realize what he has lost (once you’ve got over the eating an entire tub of ice cream in your PJs, while sobbing over a romantic movie, of course!)
But, the most important thing to realize is, if you’re agonizing about “What am I doing wrong in my marriage?” is that any relationship is a two way thing.
If you can think of anything that you are definitely doing wrong – such as cheating, lying, not being honest with him – then you need to sort this out as soon as possible. But, remember that sometimes relationships end. As heartbreaking as this is, it is a part of life.
It is not important to try to make him realize what he has lost. If you go out of your way to hunt him down; show him how great you are without him; splash pictures of yourself having fun all over social media – the only thing you are doing is playing into his hands.
Don’t try to make him see what he has lost. If he has ended it then although this is sad, try to maintain your dignity. Live your own life. Leave him behind – he probably wasn’t worth you anyway.
5. Being a perfectionist
While you may be dreaming of a fairy-tale relationship where your man always sweeps you off your feet and makes grand gestures for you all the time, this is not the case in real life.
Having a perfect impression of how your man should speak and act can sabotage everything in your relationship because you will never be satisfied with everything he does. Always remember that there are simpler but more important things that you should appreciate in your relationship.
Wanting him to be perfect and act according to your imagery of perfection can make him feel that he is not doing anything that satisfies you.
6. Trying to change him
Going hand in hand with number four, when you have an image of a perfect relationship, you may unintentionally try to change your partner to what suits you taste and preferences. While he may appear okay with it at first, soon he will be wondering whether you really like him or simply the idea of how you want him to be.
Let your man be himself and appreciate his quirks even if this is really something new to you. Learn to have fun in what he finds fun and learn to do new things with him.
Your partner is not a doll that can be groomed and changed according to what you want—and so are you. So you should never try to change him as much as you don’t want to throw your whole personality out of the window to fit his preferences.
Even if you have been in relationships a number of times, this does not automatically mean that you are doing everything right. You may have learned your lessons with each one but there are still mistakes that you may unconsciously do, especially if you are not aware that what you’re doing is wrong.
There may be things that you do in your relationships that you just got used to, and can no longer be fun for you and your partner. Sometimes, you may think that things are going well and smooth just to find out that your relationship is slowly going down.
Most of the time, you may be doing things that can ruin your relationship without noticing it. This is why you should always keep track of your feelings, your partner’s, as well as how you two work out.
By following the steps discussed, you are sure to have a happy and healthy relationship that will make you feel good.