Men and women both desire relationships, romance, commitment, and finding a partner to share a future with. Men and women both share a desire to date and form long term, partnerships, with future spouses, to settle down, and possibly start life, as a family and have children.
However, although the process, of moving from dating to being in a serious committed relationship, and possibly marriage, is much the same, there are vast differences, between men and women, when it comes to defining commitment. Read on to learn more about different stages of dating for men.
Stages Of Dating For Men
Men and women have different emotional needs, and these differences, are complimentary, to forming close, and long lasting bonds. However, without understanding the different needs, of men, and women, relationships can fail to progress, to the next stage.
1. What do men look for in the early stages of dating?
What do men look for in the early stages of dating? (No, it’s not just “that one thing!” Get your mind out of the gutter.) It may surprise you to know that, unless you are dating a guy with “player” tattooed on his body, that men are also on the look out for a serious relationship.
It is always said that women are the more emotional ones, who wear their hearts on their sleeves and want to leap straight away into the world of commitment, marriage and babies – but men also have these desires.
A settled, happy relationship with someone with whom we are in love; with whom we can share experiences – both good and bad – and always feel supported and loved, is the dream. This is true for both sexes, believe it or not!
A man who is in love and has commitment on his mind will often be just as enthusiastic about the stages of dating – and may even rush through them faster than you are comfortable with. As a general rule, men are slower to jump into a serious relationship – but there are always exceptions to every rule.
2. Meeting, attraction & chemistry are not enough for a man
For both men, and women, this is an exciting time of the meeting, spending time together, and establishing whether there is chemistry, and attraction.
Men may be attracted to many women, and have chemistry with many women, but will only ‘crush’ on women, and develop feelings, for someone who he is romantically interested in, too. Men also dream of romance – a scorching hot flirtation will fizzle out quickly if it is only physical.
In short, there must be an ‘X-factor’ – the same mysterious combination of personality, and connection, that both men, and women, seek, must be present. To progress from casual dating to exclusive dating, there must be mutual attraction, chemistry, and something more.
3. Men do not hesitate to show off their best self
They do not need to take things slow
He’s crushing on you, and charming you, and wants to show off – yes, show off. Perhaps he’ll take you to amazing places to eat, or plan romantic weekend getaways. He wants to spend time with you, and get to know you, and is very attracted to you. The chemistry is zinging, and you have a strong attachment to each other.
Things couldn’t be better, and you can’t keep your hands off each other. Men do not hesitate; they are straight forward, and enjoying the heady time of being in a relationship, and loving every romantic moment, that you share. Woman, are already, looking at the future, and are naturally, a lot more cautious.
At this stage, fairly early on, in a relationship, women start to consider the future – is this person a future partner, and are they ready to share a life, and share their hearts. For women, this assessment is about emotions, as well as physical attraction.
Women will decide if their partner is someone they love and are committed to, much sooner, in a relationship, compared to a man. There will naturally be hesitation, and a woman may feel the need to take things slow, as they are dating, which a man will not feel, at all.
4. Building intimacy and falling in love
Once a woman has decided that this man, is a good future partner, she will work on building intimacy, and share her feelings, and be quite determined for the relationship to progress. Men, on the other hand, do not share the same resolve, at this stage.
Rather, they are happy to simply enjoy being in a relationship, without questioning their feelings, or thinking of their relationship, to the same degree, that a woman will. Women are more cautious, and this is not a negative trait, just a different way of moving through the stages of dating.
Men are happy to be in love and to enjoy being in a more settled, relationship. However, after some time, they will feel a need to pull away. This is a natural process, for men, as they need to have time away, from the relationship, to judge, and determine their feelings. This is much later into a relationship.
5. Men pull away & are they ready to commit?
Is it true love? Is this relationship the one, to keep, forever? Is this relationship leading to marriage? Men need to pull away, at the very moment, in a relationship, when women, are feeling committed and settled. Men need to assess their feelings and determine what their future actions are.
Being in love is not enough. Being physically and emotionally intimate is not enough, either. A man has to decide if he wants to be in a committed relationship, that may include marriage, and one that he will commit to, for his whole life.
This is a decision he has to make alone, and not with his partner. Once a man decides that what he feels is love and that he wants to commit to this woman, then, and only then, will he be ready to offer a firm commitment. It may be living together or proposing marriage, however, it may also mean the sudden end of a relationship.
This may seem counter-intuitive to a woman, who is happy and in love and has already decided that this person is a future life partner. It may come as a big shock, to a woman, to have a ‘committed’ relationship (In her mind) end, so badly.
However, it’s important to realize that men will assess their feelings, and the future of a relationship, on a different time line, to women. On the other hand, a man can also pull away, and decide that he is ready to make a strong commitment. He may propose, or formalize, the relationship, in a different way. Once a man has decided to commit to you, he will feel more free, to love you, completely.
Final Thoughts
For men, the stages of dating are similar to women, but there is no hesitation, at all, in the beginning, to show their best selves, off, to their partners. A man will not feel a need to ‘slow things down’, in the same way, a women might. Men will not assess their feelings, in the same way that women, will, until much later in a relationship.
Men need to decide if their relationships are going to move forward and if they are ready to be in a committed relationship. Only then, once they are certain of their feelings, will they progress to being in a more committed relationship, which may include marriage.
Women, generally, decide on these matters, a lot earlier in the relationship, and at a different pace to men. It can lead to great unhappiness, for both men, and women, if it is not understood.
