He asked you out, and you had an unforgettable evening, together, and now – nothing? No calls, no text messages, nothing. You had a great time together – and now you’re not sure at all. Has he lost interest?
He may be genuinely busy or, you may have broken a few cardinal rules. You’re thinking of calling him, to see what is going on! You are anxious and worried. Has he cooled off? Or, perhaps you’re texting all the time, but he hasn’t asked you on a second date? What is going on? There are many ways that you may accidentally sabotage your chances of the second date, or cause a man to lose interest in you, very quickly.
By following a few simple tips, you can keep a guy interested, and see if you’re interested in moving things forward, into relationship territory, too. It’s about valuing your own time, your own social circle, and the time honored traditions of romance. It’s not about getting “likes’ or being followed on social media. It’s not a secret formula; it’s about using good old fashioned common sense, to be ‘woo-worthy.’
1. Rule Of Scarcity – Are you in demand? Are you a diamond?
Men prefer women who have their own lives and are not at their beck and call. This does not mean playing hard to get or making up fake plans. Being a busy, active and social woman, with a vibrant and exciting life, makes you more attractive. (A man would be lucky to share in your dynamic life.) You are in ‘demand’ – your time is valuable!
It’s the basic principle of economics at work – supply, and demand. Things that are scarce have a higher intrinsic value. Are you a diamond, or zirconia? Don’t cancel your plans, but feel free to invite your new man, to join, with a simple text message: “I’m going to a jazz club with the girls tonight. You should come!” You don’t have to be constantly ‘busy’ – but you should never clear your schedule. This is a clear and direct invitation – it shows you are in demand, but values your new friend, too.
2. No Texting After 10 pm. The Booty Call
The Booty Call. Unless you’re both on the same page, and you have no interest in developing a long term relationship, with this man, then feel free to text away, and be available – anytime.
Following the logic, of economics, you are not placing a high value on your time. This is your choice, but, if you leap into this area, there is little room for romance or courting – you are not scarce, at all. Men love romance too, and if it’s not romance on his mind, then it’s best to simply reply that it is late, and you are going to sleep, but would love to make a plan to see him another time.
Yes, men, the dream of courting you, dating you, sending flowers, and sweeping you off your proverbial feet. That ain’t a booty call – and will never be. Text smart, and keep communication simple. Save your saucy flirting for when you’re moving into a relationship.
Texting is a poor way of communication – it is ‘safe’ and you are not vulnerable – and can be an unhealthy pattern. Intimacy and a good connection do not grow through text messages alone. Text smart. A simple “I had a great evening, thank you so much!” is perfect. Do not go overboard, and assume you are in a relationship or start long text conversations. Leave those for dates, and keep your mystery.
3. Dress Up For Your Date
This may seem like common sense, but, men’s dating blogs often mention that men are often disappointed when their dates make minimal, or no effort, at all. Yes, while you may not want to look ‘ too high maintenance’ and over do things, you need to dress for the occasion.
First impressions do count, and you should dress accordingly. Your comfortable, casual, everyday wardrobe is fine for meeting friends, but you’re not planning to just hang out, are you?
Men are very visual thinkers, and, although they may not notice every detail of your appearance, they will notice whether you have made an effort, or not. You want to look you best, and make the best impression you can. Splurge on that new top, and put your best foot forward. Men appreciate the effort that you make. Being attractive is not only about physical appearance, but, about how much effort you put in, to dress up, for a date.
4. Verbally Show Your Desire & Don’t Play Hard To Get
While you are on your date, or after your first date, you should let your date know that you are having a good time, and are enjoying the evening. This takes the pressure off the man, and he will not have to guess whether you are interested in seeing him again. It can be a casual remark, during the date, or a text message that you send later. The important thing is to verbally communicate, your feelings.
There may be smoldering looks or date night nerves, it does not matter – but, if you are interested in a second date, you need to tell him, clearly, that you have a had a really good time. Do not play hard to get, and leave him guessing, as to how you feel. Sparks may be flying across that table, but your date may not be sure, if you feel the same way, too. Be subtle, but make sure that you give the green light signal – and communicate directly – either with a text, at the end of the evening, or by expressing your feelings, showing your desire, during the date.
5. Don’t Jump The Gun. Do not update your relationship status on Facebook
Sparks are flying, and you’ve made plans for the weekend. Again. You could not be happier, you are on cloud nine, and positively floating. You must be in a relationship, right? He is keen, and you’re smitten. You tell your friends you are ‘seeing someone’, and happily close down all your dating sites. You’re thinking a beach wedding in Hawaii and life as a doctor’s wife. You are mistaken –
Dating is not a relationship
Do not, ever – never – think that dating is a relationship. Are you even exclusive? You should not be – you should be keeping your options open. At the early stages of dating – you are not spoken for – by anyone. Nothing is more unattractive than desperation and neediness – for either partner. Should your new date be speaking about wedding bells, after your third date, wouldn’t that scare you off? Men need to prove themselves, and you are worthy of being courted, and romanced, and this takes time.
Enjoy being romanced, and dating, and allow your relationship to develop at its own pace. Do not update your Facebook relationship status, and do not presume that your date is only dating you. You are not ‘in’ a relationship, at all, you are dating and getting to know each other. You are not a ‘we.’ – until you have spoken about exclusive dating, and being in a relationship; you are an ”I.”. For more detailed information about a man’s mind, you can read a book titled as “What’s He Really Thinking?”