Knowing you have found a guy you want all to yourself is a great place to be in life, but getting him to commit to you exclusively can be seriously problematic if his heart hasn’t made the same jump yours has. Don’t do anything underhanded or even overpowering, as neither is a solid path to a good long-term relationship. Instead, try the tips listed out in the following sections.
What You'll Learn Today
- How Do You Get Him To Commit To Dating Exclusively
- Letting It Go
- Final Thought
How Do You Get Him To Commit To Dating Exclusively
1. Take it easy
Trying overly hard might seem tempting, and perhaps even a good idea. It’s not. Don’t act like his girlfriend, because the likely consequence is that will be the ceiling of your relationship instead of the floor. If you’re cool with that, great, but most women aren’t. Be ready that he may decide to be just a friend after a period of dating.
2. Be sure you want it
Of course you want a committed relationship. But, do you want it with him in particular? Find out by asking yourself the following questions:
- Does he respect me?
- Do I feel better around him?
- Do I have a good time with him?
- Does he make my life better?
- Do I keep feeling good after we go our separate ways?
He shouldn’t just elevate you when he’s around. If he’s ‘the one’, then you want him to elevate your entire existence.
3. Let him be him
Accept your guy for who he is. If you have to somehow change him to be the committed partner you want, then you need to look elsewhere for someone who is already who you want. Not only let him be himself but make sure he knows you accept him like that.
4. Don’t jump into *that* conversation too soon
*That* conversation can be the ‘what are we’ talk. It’s also known as the DTR conversation, where DTR means ‘define the relationship’. Great relationships build over time on momentum.
Stopping the fun for analysis kills whatever romance you have pretty fast. If the two of you are on a roll, let the good times keep going without pulling over to ‘check in’ with one another.
5. Bring things up lightly
Sooner or later, you should have some sign from them that they’re ready to step things up or just not interested. Casually mention the possibility of meeting the parents.
Or, just bring up the topic of exclusivity gently and then give him a few weeks to mull it over. Always keep an eye out for his own subtle signals. He may drop hints that he’s ready without even picking up on them himself.
6. Unplug with each other
Is your next date just dinner and drinks again? Find a place where you can both put your phones and hair down. You don’t have to have *that* conversation in front of a fireplace. Instead, step outside your collective comfort zone for a new adventure or experience.
7. Show your selfless side
Volunteering opportunities and helping out your community aren’t just good for your self-esteem and those you help, they’re also great for alluring mates. Research in Britain shows that prospective romantic partners find you more attractive when you demonstrate altruistic qualities.
Just make sure you’re genuinely altruistic in your endeavors. Volunteering just for the sake of the glory is easily seen through and a huge turnoff. It can also close the doors on volunteer opportunities.
8. Be vulnerable
You might crave the relative safety and security of a committed relationship badly, but your odds of landing in one go up if you head in the other direction. For a guy to commit, he has to be vulnerable with you.
Expose your own vulnerabilities first so that your relationship with him is a safe space for him to follow suit. Men already love to spread out and fill any space they can around them. This can be just as true emotionally as it is physically, so take advantage of his nature.
9. On the other hand
Sharing vulnerabilities is a good thing to build up a relationship, but don’t lose yourself in it. Maintain your personal autonomy, even if you have a dream guy around.
If you love hitting farmer’s markets on Saturdays when he’d rather sleep in, let him snooze while you get up and fill the fridge with organic goodness. It’s important to not force him to be something he’s not, but it’s also important no to be something you’re not in an attempt to draw him in.
10. Let him think it’s his idea
Tell your guy that he has the right to date multiple women at once, but also tell him that you’re searching for an exclusive relationship once you find the right man. None of this indicates neediness or demands, but it does layout your standards he has to meet for your approval.
Good men recognize boundaries like this and realize they’d be idiots to risk losing you. Even if your current guy doesn’t respond with exclusivity, you’ve kept your options open.
Letting It Go
At some point, you may just have to walk away and start looking again for the love of your life. Sometimes, this is when a man will finally realize what his life is like without you and he’ll come rushing back ready to commit.
You’ll have to go with your gut on this. Is he genuine and sincere or just lonely? Do you really want to jump into a long-term relationship where your guy sometimes doesn’t make emotional leaps until there’s been a vacuum to go through first?
Women are often the emotional leaders in romantic relationships, but do you want your guy lagging that far behind? Maybe it’s a one-time thing, and maybe he’s just worth it because he’s the one. Only you can know for sure.
If you want to form a truly connected and long-term relationship with any man, then you need to first understand the attraction and second how it all works. Having read all this, you are now aware of many ways to get him to commit to you exclusively. Be honest with yourself about what you want, and then be honest with him too.