Everyone has mood swings, don’t they? It’s bad enough dealing with your own – but how to deal with mood swings in a relationship? That’s a whole other story!
These mood swings may be your own, or they may be your partner’s – either way, it can be hard to cope with life when one (or both!) of you is behaving like a toddler.
There are a few things you can do to help deal with the swings and roundabouts of various people’s moods in a relationship; let’s explore it further.
Mood Swings In A Relationship {Action Points}
Talk About It
Communication is key. Discussing what has caused the mood swings, be they yours or your partner’s, is a great step towards sorting out the problems.
Pick a time when everyone is feeling calm and ready to talk, perhaps at a weekend or when the kids are occupied, so there won’t be additional stresses and interruptions.
Try to stay calm and talk only about the issues at hand, without allowing too much emotion to cloud the conversation.
If your partner doesn’t want to talk about it, maybe they could write down their issues? Talking face to face can be a big trigger for some.
Empathize
Like a toddler, no one WANTS to feel out of control, moody, yelling and irritable. However, unlike toddlers, adults are supposed to be able to regulate their emotions!
The techniques for dealing with a moody adult is similar to dealing with a toddler – empathizing and naming the feelings is a good start.
If someone feels like you are supporting, rather than attacking them, there is a much bigger chance that they will calm down more quickly.
Empathizing is treating someone like a human being, rather than talking down to them and treating them like a child. Validating emotions is a big thing!
Offer Help
It may be that your partner needs something from you to help them deal with their mood swings. It may be that there is nothing you can do. Either way, offering help is a great way of dealing with the problem together.
This could be something that you can do in the moment, or a more long term solution such as helping them find therapy.
It actually works out better for you in the long run too; if you can help someone deal with their mood swings then they might be able to reduce or even prevent them in the future!
If nothing else, your partner will be happy that you care enough to offer them your help, and this should make things a little easier in the long run.
Seek Natural Remedies
I’m not talking about sitting in a circle banging drums or weaving yogurt out of lentils here. There are actually a great many things you can do to help deal with mood swings naturally:
- Step outside for some fresh air
- Go for a run
- Meditation
- Mindfulness
- Deep breathing
- A new exercise class
Any one of these things can help to switch the mind away from the things that are making a person feel upset or irritable, and can help to encourage a healthier environment of talking and discussion.
Learn The Triggers
If, for example, mood swings in your house are triggered by a stressful day at work, a day when the kids are extra loud, or financial stresses, it might be an idea to make a note of this.
You can allow extra time to unwind, or avoid delivering bad news or demanding a chore be done at these times, which may reduce the possibility for irritation.
Learning the patterns is a great way to help you stay on top of mood swings that appear to be out of everyone’s control.
Learning someone else’s triggers as well as your own is a great way to learn how to accept and compromise in a relationship – you don’t have to walk on eggshells, but it is a good idea to be aware.
Don’t Take It Personally
It’s very easy to get upset or offended if someone appears to be taking their mood swings out on you. But you getting upset will likely make it worse!
Your partner doesn’t want to be making you feel uncomfortable or unhappy. If you throw your toys out of the pram every time they have a mood swing, it can cause even more issues.
However, mood swings are generally caused by outside stressors, not individuals, so however hard it is, try to remember that it is not YOU that your partner is annoyed with.
Sometimes mood swings can be caused by issues like depression or personality disorders, so it really isn’t your fault. Try to remain calm and remember this.
Talk To Someone
We’re not saying that you should go on social media to call out your partner’s behavior, but talking is an important thing.
Find a trusted friend and spill the beans; you will find some sympathy and possibly also some good ideas to help you cope.
A trained therapist is also a great idea, for both yourself and whoever is having the mood swings – the great advantage of a therapist is that they can offer some great coping strategies.
Take Time Out
Looking after yourself is very important, because if you are not firing on all cylinders then you won’t have any energy left to help anyone else.
Give yourself some dedicated “you time” away from your partner and their mood swings, to give yourself a chance to recharge.
If you get a bit of time and space you will be refreshed, strong and more able to deal with whatever life throws at you. Don’t feel guilty, making sure your cup is full is a priority.
Final Words
Mood swings can be really hard to deal with, whether they are yours or someone else’s. However, there are ways that you can deal with them!
Hopefully we have given you a bit more ammunition for your arsenal when dealing with the exploding world of flying emotions.
