Having trouble with your dating life? Looking for dating advice for women over 40? If so, you have come to the right place. Are you searching for a man who treats you right? Was your last experience awful? Do you think it was your fault? We may not have the answers of the first three questions, but to the last one, “No, it was not your fault.”
Maybe you just need some tips on how to date. Very often, we are devastated by our dating experiences and decide to take some time off from relationships and dating. However, when the right person actually comes into our life, we do not know what to do about it. Should we ask him for a drink? A coffee? A date? Or should he be the one asking the question?
The answer is pretty simple. Sometimes the guy is too shy to ask you, and sometimes you do not know enough about him, like if he has a girlfriend, a wife, or kids, etc. You have to know about the guy before you start dating him. This is important and the first rule of dating.
You do not need to be best buddies, but you need to clarify whether he is in a relationship or not before you actually date him. It is heartbreaking to make the same mistakes, like talking too much, sharing too much and getting physical too soon. Read on to learn more.
Dating Advice For Women Over 40 {12 Useful Tips}
Often, we see women who are not treated right by their partners. We seek advice from our siblings, our friends, and family when it comes to dating. Sometimes, the advice we receive is great, and actually quite useful, but sometimes it gets messed up and we make a silly mistake.
After several surveys and reading many true stories, I found that dating problems had little to do with men approaching women, and more to do with how the latter approached the former.
Women are almost always emotionally involved when they start dating. They have feelings hidden beneath their smiling faces, and they try to act nonchalant. Well, there are a few things that they should consider while dating.
1. Start treating yourself with respect
You probably already love yourself. There are some women who can easily be influenced. When something goes wrong with their date and their date tries to put the blame on them, they believe them and criticize themselves. It sounds unbelievable, but it is true.
I even know some women who agreed with the aforementioned sentence. They often feel sorry for themselves and feel defeated. But is one guy worth all that pain?
No! You should stop the self-defeating thoughts as soon as they take shape in your brain. They should not hold you back from meeting the right guy. Women deserve to be with men who understand them and who always respect them.
If you are not feeling confident while dating a good guy then fake it. It is not all that difficult, just smile more, talk more, ask questions and answer the ones your date asks. The more you know each other, the more confident you will feel.
2. Do not act desperate
This happens with many women, even the smartest ones. Flirting is not acting desperate. Flirting is completely fine, even encouraged. According to survey I did on the social media giant Facebook, most men agreed that they liked dating women who flirted, while there were some who said they prefer dating women who are shy and talk less.
While dating, do not ever make your date feel bored. Do not ask too many questions, do not get too personal, and save the questions about exes for third or fourth date. The first date should be reserved for just you two, to get to know each other a little, such as likes and dislikes in food, job, travel stories, etc. Getting personal may make you look desperate in your date’s eyes.
3. Talk less; maintain an air of mystery
By talking less, I do not mean stop talking altogether. Talk about yourself, your likes and dislikes but limit your talk. Do not go into details; do not disclose too much about yourself on the first date.
If you talk less and act a little mysterious, your date will want to know more about you. Another survey done on the same social media platform showed that men preferred to date women who do not overshare.
We all have baggage, but that does not mean you have to open that baggage on the first date. We tend to tell people too much about us when we feel insecure. Sometimes, the men you date do not mind being good listeners, but sometimes they just run away as soon as you turn your back on them.
4. Love yourself but do not let it destroy you
There is one thing called “Loving yourself” and there is another “Thinking of yourself as the best.” It is good to love yourself, to cherish yourself and to fulfill all demands your heart makes, but when that love becomes selfish, it brings destruction. Men do not like women who talk about feminist issues in almost every conversation.
You are a woman, you are powerful, you are important, but you don’t need to shout that in his face by constantly raising women’s issues. This can annoy him, just like it would you if your date constantly talked about men’s problems.
5. One-step theory
Take a step, let him take the next step. Relationships are a two-way thing. Put in less effort from your side. When you take a step towards the man you want to date or man you are dating, allow him to take the next step, and then, just in the same manner, build your relationship.
Soon, you both will get to know each other more properly and understand each other in a better way. Make him come to you, meaning instead of going to his house to pick him up for the first date, let him do it.
Even when you think you are doing that to save his gas or trying something new, do not do it. It is the worst thing you can do to your relationship. If you want to pick him up, do that on the second date.
Reserve the first date for the traditional kind of date. If your date is not interested in taking some time out of his life to pick you up, then he will continue to do it in the future, and it could become the cause of your breakup. Not starting a relationship is better than a break up.
6. Do not overthink the relationship
I agree that it is really hard to not overthink about where the relationship is going with your date. You brain just wants to know what he is thinking. You heart keeps troubling you with incessant questions, and your friends keep asking you million questions about how your date went.
Keep yourself busy if you cannot stop thinking about the guy you met for coffee, and who has not called in over 12 hours. Sometimes, even guys take their precious time to call.
Do not hesitate to call him once, but if he doesn’t return it, take it as an indication that either he is busy or is he not as excited about the date as you. Do not keep calling him again and again just to force him to talk to you.
There are times when the person you are going on a date with is a Facebook or social media friend and you have not actually met him in person before. Some of us are so untrusting that we try to find out everything we can get about them through Internet.
We often try to even judge our date before meeting them, which is a problem as well. Always keep your mind and heart open and do not make assumptions before meeting the man. If all you need is proper advice then take it from an expert.
7. No rules
Dating is just two people, who are attracted to each other, meeting for coffee, lunch or dinner to take their relationship to another level. The two of you could be strangers who have a mutual friend, or you could be long-time friends who just realized you are interested in each physically as well.
Also, men like the thrill of the chase so making them sweat a little is completely fine, given that they are the one running after you, not vice versa. Men are all about risks and challenges. Mysterious women are a challenge for them.
During the date and after the date, do not put up rules like “meet only on Fridays and Saturdays.” Men do not like rules, and neither do many women. Men prefer women who love to live life to the fullest, not those who work, eat and enjoy according to time tables.
8. Do not be clingy
Do not be that creature who loves to stick to her man on the first date. I get it, he is probably very handsome, but drop the clingy behavior. You want to act smart, hold hands when only necessary, and call only once or twice a day. Stop calling him every second hour.
Several women told me that they called their boyfriends at least three or more times a day to check on them. You should never do that as it makes you look very desperate, and will possibly be the reason behind an early breakup.
Men do not like women who constantly message or call them to ask what they ate, what they are doing now, and at what time they will be free. Men told me that regular texts from women turned them off and annoyed them.
9. Do not return the call immediately
Do not answer texts or accept calls immediately. Now, you must think why? Again, it makes you look desperate. You want to keep everything slow at first; do not jump into the relationship.
Also, do not sit by the bed waiting for his call, a minute or two is okay but more than that can injure your confidence level. Get out of the house and take a long walk.
Think about other things. You can play games, go shopping, visit friends, go trekking, etc. to keep your mind off the “date” subject.
10. Right time for physical intimacy
This is something that everyone should know. Going on a date does not mean that the guy is suddenly your boyfriend, or it is okay to get physically intimate with him. There is always a right time for that, and you will know it when you reach it.
You should limit your love life for the first couple of months and take it to the second level only when you are confident about your man. Some women get emotionally involved when sex is a part of a relationship.
For men, it is not the same. Yeah, there are men who will develop the same feelings for you as you do for them, but those men are rare.
11. Acceptance and letting go of the results
Frequently, our own mind holds us back from starting a strong relationship. We sometimes judge people by their appearances, like if your date is wearing casuals for dinner date, if his shoes are dirty, if he is too fashionable etc.
Remember, to start a relationship, the primary thing is to accept your man. Do not judge them by their appearance, by the type of cologne they wear, or the type of restaurants they take you to. Maybe he does not like the clothes you prefer to wear, or maybe he prefers long hair, but you would not date a man who actually says that to you, now, would you?
No. This is because how you look is your decision, not his. Do not try to change your man as well. Do not tell him to wear certain clothes or behave differently. That will just increase the distance between you two. Also, do not try to change yourself for him.
In a couple of months, however, if he asks you to suggest a change for him, then you can tell him a few things without being rude. The same goes for the guy as well. Many relationships end at some point. It saddens you when your first date does not indicate a second one.
Some women think they are not smart, successful, fun, or beautiful enough. They do not even stop to consider if they like the guy that much, or if it would have actually turned into a good relationship.
Date just like a man would. If a date does not work out, try again, and continue trying till you find the right one. Do not lose hope. Also, do not hesitate to be the one to ask a guy out on a date. Some men love it.
The survey I did of more than 100 men on the Internet showed that men preferred being asked on a date. Also, one of them wrote that if women ask them on a game or a show, they cannot help but say yes.
If a guy has already asked you on the first date, then you can ask him on the second one by saying, “Oh! I have two tickets of this show/game, would you like to come?” The man would, most probably say yes.
12. One last thing
Split the bill on the first date, or at least offer to split the bill. Yes, you might wonder why you would want to do that. A survey done by “Cosmopolitan” magazine said that men like it when women ask to split the bill.
We believe in equality of both men and women, so why should they be paying the bill? At least offer to split the tab, just to see his reaction. Your date will see you in a different light and he is bound to get interested in you after this.
Also, you can offer to pay for desert or drinks if he pays for dinner. This will just make your date respect you more, probably even make him fall in love with you. For similar kinds of tips, you know what to check out – here are some pickup lines for ladies you can use.
Why Dating Advice For Women Doesn’t Work Sometimes?
If you are wondering why dating advice for women doesn’t work, and find your attempts to find love frustrated even though you are reading all the right dating books, try having a look into what type of dating advice you are looking at.
There is good advice and bad advice! Listen to the type of advice that allows you to be yourself, and gives you permission to be honest and open with your prospective partner. Don’t follow any advice that tells you to change, or to hide your true self.
Also, try not to follow dating advice to the letter, as it can get very confusing and you may end up with conflicting advice! Do you make the first move or let him? Should you be honest an open, or should you hold back and act mysterious? What is the etiquette on who pays for dinner?
Actually, it doesn’t have to be all this complicated. You like this guy, right? He seems to like you too. The best advice is: go on that date, and be yourself. Be open to who your date is too, and decide at the end whether you would like it to continue. And, always remember to be honest, kind, and totally utterly yourself!
